Tweedledeh

"Even the Greek definition anthropos, He Who Looks Up, is inaccurate. Man seldom looks above his own height after adolescence."


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Reblogged from barthel
Reblogged from discreetmath

25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword which was given unto thee?

26 And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.

27 And the Lord did not ask him again.

Good Omens (Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett)

(Source: discreetmath, via brittadictarnold)

Reblogged from ryannism

thetemperamentalgoat:

hookahsmoke:

Find the Beautiful in the Unusual

Photos taken at the Holi Festival (Festival of Colors), this is a spring festival celebrated in India and Nepal, where all distinctions of social class are put aside. People celebrate in the streets, worshipping Krishna, by throwing rich handfuls of colored powders on eachother. Each person that bumps another then carries their colors.

Bucketlist.

Reblogged from redsuspenders
redsuspenders:

the illuminati is real, ok?
its
real,
okay?

redsuspenders:

the illuminati is real, ok?

its

real,

okay?

Reblogged from fleurishes
Reblogged from hallucinationslovemagic
Reblogged from rindoatoa
Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive
Reblogged from brianvaldzno-deactivated2012011
Reblogged from kalins

goebel:

By far my favourite Monty Python moment.

(Source: kalins, via whirringofmachinery)

Reblogged from luckyshirt
afternoonsnoozebutton:

luckyshirt:

Dear guy who just made my burrito:
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.
And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE: To everyone who keeps saying “WHOEVER WROTE THIS THANK YOU”
You’re welcome.
And to everyone compelled to say “FIRST WORLD PROBLEM CALM THE FUCK DOWN ITS A BURRITO BITCH UR A FAG WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO MAD”:
That’s the joke.
-luckyshirt

That is quite a lot of sour cream.

afternoonsnoozebutton:

luckyshirt:

Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.

And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE: To everyone who keeps saying “WHOEVER WROTE THIS THANK YOU”

You’re welcome.

And to everyone compelled to say “FIRST WORLD PROBLEM CALM THE FUCK DOWN ITS A BURRITO BITCH UR A FAG WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO MAD”:

That’s the joke.

-luckyshirt

That is quite a lot of sour cream.

(via nolightisbrighter)

Reblogged from chillthoughts
Reblogged from finchmishi
Reblogged from suckmydesu

(Source: suckmydesu, via clnhll)

Reblogged from blitzkriegrob

majoras-masque:

i-vote-unicorn:

wildjoneseyappeared:

leafsaw:

Too adorable to not reblog.

CHRIS KING AGE 27 1/3 YOU ARE AMAZING AND PRETEND THAT I AM GIVING YOU SEVERAL HIGH FIVES OKAY

Can I just give this person a hug? They probably made Lily’s YEAR.

It might be because I’m an emotional wreck today but ALL OF MY CREYS.

(Source: blitzkriegrob)